He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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