As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
