you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize