We won't sleep together?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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