yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
