rhymes with "ouble enetration"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize