So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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