all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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