Life is so much better after having sex.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
