Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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