I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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