i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
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I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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