Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
