Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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