I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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