thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
