we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
