the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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