You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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