never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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