You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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