He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
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He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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