Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize