it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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