You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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