I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
