the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
