So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
