am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
