I have demons in me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
