I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
