You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize