we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize