Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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