Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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