I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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