also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
