the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
