five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my shit smells like andre
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
how drunk are you?
Several
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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