i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the liver wants what the liver wants
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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