you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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