R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
