Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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