Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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