my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
