I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
