Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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