my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
