She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
