I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Screwed.edu
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
