Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
