I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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