Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
