yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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