between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize