Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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