STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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