did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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