Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
