I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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