If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
