he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i out mim tonsoeep
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