Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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