Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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