When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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